King of Klowns
2024
Video, 59 min.
Materials:
TRANSCRIPT:
King of Klowns
[Whispering]
I don’t wanna do it.
Don’t make me do it.
I know I’ve got to do it.
But don’t make me do it.
I don’t wanna do it.
I don’t wanna do it.
I don’t wanna do it.
Please don’t make me do it.
Don’t make me do it.
I know that it’s the right thing …
Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth.
I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
They The Them Are We.
You know, I’m honestly just trying to have fun, you know? And off course I’m also definitely trying to suck at least dick as possible. And at the same time, I want to express to people that I have a big dick. I want my opinion to be as far away from my work. You know, I said …
Fuck Europe. Fuck America. You know what? Fuck Africa. Do you?
It’s not like ‘big big’ but it’s important for me, like, as an artist, off course, to express that even though my dick is not small, my intellect is bigger, you know?
Nástio Mosquito is dead.
Why, why, why are they important?
I bought Europe.
It’s thicker, it’s wider, you know what I mean?
I bought even your hate of the dark skin take-over of the color pink.
There’s way to much opinions out there, way too much people talking too much shit. Fuck cancer, man!
Don’t be cool, be relevant. Yeap!
There are too many good people dying out there. People …
The world is about consequence.
I am on a war. I am on a war against this fat that is not allowing, you know what I mean?
This is our frozen war.
I said: “Fuck cancer, man!” There is like depression kind of fat, there’s like self-loathing kind of fat. The ego fat, is like consuming you. There is ‘fat fat’- like, stop eating those kind of cookies all the time. There’s family kind of fat. There’s bad friends kind of fat. I’m coming after that, cause we’ve got power. Children, off course, the children. And refugees. And there’s this fat on the brain of some people. We can do better. You’ve got power. Lose your fat.
This pain is real. This pain is [indistinctive] bottle of wine, man
Do you know if there’s a direct relation between giving head and bad breath?
Who you are. How you are. I’m sorry, Father, but I’m too big to be on your back. I’m too big to fit on you back. And I’m naked…
Sympathy. Comfort. Confidence.
Fuck concepts. I would like to see a bit more of life.
Do you want to hear about hope? Hope of the spirit, of the knowledge that you are after all small. Hope. Do you want the end and its silly contrast of beginning? Down to earth. Make sense. If we speak of hope, do we not speak of human leadership as a permanent contract with God? If we speak of hope, do we not speak of not giving a fuck about intellectual property? The recognition of oneself in a rock? Hope. Like that. Blind. Food on a table. Life in a household. To leave it better than you found it. Be interesting. Be adored. Be revered. What else do you want to talk about? Hope, perhaps?
Get your ass up. Leave and search, just search, just search. We are going to die. You are going to die. Do you realize this while you are faking an orgasm? Just think that you are going to die while you delay your divorce. I’m not saying that I want you to get a divorce but for fuck’s sake: If you’re not willing to love deeply, truthfully, just remember: you are going to die. This is no experiment, dude. This is no experiment, lady. We are going to die. Life, man. Your life, lady. Die happy. Die fulfilled. Die with a sense of joy. Die celebrating. Wanna die with me?
You spend years wanting to make it. You spend years dreaming and fearing that your dreams are somehow an illusion. You end up chaining yourself either to your talent or to the lack of talent. Your parents' history, their fears or the consequences of their courage. My name is SEFA and I just got a divorce from my parents. You heard me right: I just got a divorce from my parents. We'll deal with the kids – our legacy – at some point in the future. No one told me that the old would fight so hard and so unfair, using all they gave us in the past, blackmailing us into sentimental, tangible, half-truths. What I'm looking for is a land. Where I come from is a land. What you might instinctively want to identify in me, is a land. Territory. To belong. What belongs to me is spirit. I bring to you my spirit. I bring to you my equal equivalent, our ever-present twin. As I walk, it becomes clear that it is not possible without conflict. It is not possible without one of us being called ruthless. We are gonna have to kill, one or the other possibility. My name is SEFA and I just got a divorce from my parents. I have decided to leave our kids with them. I have new legacy to build. With you. I see you on stage.
I'm going to sing, and sing, and sing. While I do it, without trying, you're going to dream. Just no illusions. Dream. I’ve got no bank account.
My life is blood that is neither mine nor yours.
His … a real lamb …
I lost my son in the thin thread of a cold of laughter.
And the so called victim, the mother, says she is loved … badly …
Who said you don’t feel pain for someone you have not met?
Surely no crowd celebrates in the hands of loneliness…
Here you go, take it.
I surrender all to you, wisdom of lived dreams …
Here you go, take it.
I surrender all to you, wisdom of lived dreams …
Gospel!
Good news … now!
I lost my human being …
It was ours … for the world.
I lost my human being …
It was ours … for the world.
Gospel!
Good news … now!
[Footage assembly]
She was white and I black. She told me: “Do not underestimate the power of blood.” I heard and did not forget, but it is low on my estimation. The blood, the past, the origin, the source. It is significant, but then there is time and authority. I've got no time to consider where you are from and how you lost your virginity. I've got no time to consider who your father, mother and dog is. I can easily find that along the way. Where is it that you want to go? What is it that from the inside out you want to make flow? How is it that you choose the path that assures you're going to grow? You can tell me all about it along the way. I want to run away from blood in and on a directionless world. I want to run away from blood on a knowledge plus-plus-push-fush rotten out-of-sight world. Mama says: “Make it!” Daddy says: "Be my slave, boy. Stick it." Auntie says: "I do not know you, bitch. Lick it." No more viable I. She just wanted to love. She loved me. She told me so. She showed she loved me with the devil within the fleshly eye. She smiled me back into bed. She wanted to get pregnant, eat fatty food and know I would be there. Without the I in me. All my I’s on the sheet of the bed to be. One cannot run away from blood. I'm bleeding out fully, truly and definitely. Changing the blood for light. Where is it that you want to go? Come! What is it that, from the inside out, you want to make flow? Come! How is it that you choose the path that assures you're going to grow? Just come! Tell me all about it along the way. Come!
[Footage assembly]
Let’s make a video, let’s make a video.
Like, with me dancing!
I was like: the idea is fantastic, true genius!
Because I, as any and all Angolans, am all swing. I am all swag.
But I am smooth and you can’t really copy… You can’t catch all my swing!
And please, the camera has got to be on me. Follow me.
No, on my feet … You got to stay on my feet!
Forever Angola!
A break, let’s take a break. I need a break, really, seriously …
Angola!
I’m … and for my fans, please continue with this attitude.
I’m as Angolan as … Angola!
[Footage assembly]
Among the many conflicts in my motherland.
Face to face with it all.
My flesh burns deep superficially…
It’s real crazy and cowardly.
I, colored by whiteness, see if something balances out, before …
Gateways of truth are no more …
I resisted for so long.
Going to the temple, whiplashes …
Medication and meditation.
Even so … I contemplate.
Trips to the temple, ideas of surrendering, ideas of invading … her.
Mother, Father.
Brothers, Sisters.
School, tasks, soap opera, the black alley, roasts …
Ambition, work, money, search.
Love, friendship, openness.
Evolution, construction, growth,
recognition …
It’s from my soul that I bring you this being.
It’s really from the struggle that is being Angolan.
The heart of something is always what must be defended.
Where Europe’s dilemmas meet, and are perverted … Forget about Berlin.
Where the love to forget and to move on with it is, it’s here.
Here, pure will to integrate with future vision from history to story, this could be home.
From socialism to eye contact, this could be home.
From legacy to milk cows, this could be home.
People enjoying Europe.
People enjoying Europe.
European joy.
My wife, when sober, likes me …
My wife, when sober, is the best within me …
But the truth is that I’m bad.
I brought her sobriety to a shameful end.
It’s not lip service,
Gotta let her go.
The time is now.
– Here, right here, you’ve got money there. –
I don’t have the strength …
– I think that they’ve got money here. –
Drugs being smoked…
Drugs being tolerated …
Life being singular …
Life not measuring up.
– You’ve got money there. Definitely, We’ve got money there. ––
To live? Only if in touch with dying!
– You’ve got money there.
Drink, fuck, forget.
I didn’t suffer trauma, I didn’t sell souls …
I’m lost and I don’t want to find myself,
so that if in the end they will only mistreat me … Worse, ignore.
Hey, you called me. Zura here. Make sure you leave a message, fool. And yeah, mom, if that’s you, I’m not calling you a fool, okay? You know I love you. You’re my queen bitch, huh. Leave a message. Bye.
Hello, Beta. How are you? How many times have I asked you to change this silly message you have? Ridiculous. Your friends and whoever calls you are thinking you call your mother ‘queen bitch’. I'm not your friend. I'm your mother. Anyway, how are you? Why are you not calling me back? I'm dying every day. You know now. My back is killing me. My knees are killing me. And your father is killing me also. I think your father tried to kill me the other day in his sleep. Imagine. The man is totally losing it. Now I don't even have peace when I sleep. How are your bones? You’re keeping warm in Europe? And with those civilized albinos, chimps? You know, you have my genes, right? Your bones are just going to start falling apart. The headaches, the bladder issues, your eyes. Did you check your eyes like I told you? You go check your eyes before you go blind and stop masturbating for a while. You're a grown man. In Jesus name. And what about your brother?
Jesus loves me, of this I know.
Jesus loves me, for the bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me, of this I know.
Jesus loves me, for the bible tells me so.
He loves me with that blood, oh Lord.
He loves me with that blood, oh Lord.
He loves me with that blood, oh Lord.
For the bible tells me so.
With that love, with that peace, with that love, oh Lord.
With that love, with that peace, with that love, oh Lord.
He loves me with that blood, oh lord.
For the bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me, For the bible tells me so.
By being empowered by the revelation of perspective, the possible consequence is the ability to look at the same objective, with a new, creative and committed point of view.
The fight is to have a hand on a correct evaluation of purpose and application of these same perspectives …
Get against the wall. Now. Against the wall. When life calls you in, drags you out, kicks in the stomach, there’s really no telling what it’s all about. It’s like tension. Intention plan out. Not failure of life. Make believe. There’s really no telling what it’s all about.
Today, there's no gentleman reward. Today, there's no me for you outward. Today, there's a fuck you, gentle being. Today, there's die in peace, memory, without history. Let’s God be singular.
Negro, you dark monkey black you negro.
Negro, you blue eyed pinky blond you negro.
Were you the one shouting “pink pussy bliss, white face we shall fix”?
Do not contemplate arms stretch, reach, take.
Go on, get closer here. Pitch black pink bliss … reach deep.
Negro was now I purple with or without the fuzz.
Negro not exclusive condition. Negro now you majority.
Poor, broke, insecure.
You know peace, brother, you.
Negro, still, we distribution.
We're still getting killed.
Me not chased, me erased.
Congo less, Africa bless.
They the them are we – kind of mess.
Blood bleed and he ain’t sweet.
White don’t know the hook.
Son don’t know the look.
Me black ink, me brook.
Me Brook.
I could have asked for your advice, but I did not. I could have asked for your help. Yet again, I did not. Can you just give me your fucking opinion, you cunt?
I did not ask for your help and I certainly did not ask for your opinion. May you please advise or fuck off? No really, just …
I do respect your opinion. I do respect your advice. But at his moment shut the fuck up and please do your best so that I can do my best. Please, help.
Your dreams, your mind.
Guard them.
Protect them.
Punch the bag. Punch the bad.
Make a move, be the move, be willing to loose.
Eurasia bitch, bust a move!
Feel small and hug them below the knees.
Make the phone call, and then hang up and call again …
Fuck the sign, fuck procedure.
Be singular instinct in your need to provoke a smile.
You caressed the scars and it’s all good.
You’re silent in a crowd.
Look what they’ve done to you now.
There comes space out of this trust.
You wanna let it rest.
Allow yourself to entertain.
You look in the mirror you see “Good God”, now.
You’re scared of what he found.
Look what they did to you now.
There comes space to melt down.
You nurture unrest now.
Allow yourself to entertain.
There comes hope all in white.
Like a punk rock pope.
Dressed in a full unbreakable armour.
A flood of angels present your harbor is now.
A prisoner of hope.
Look at me.
Look for me.
Find me, don’t run.
Be.
I don’t want to share my money with you, just time …
Let me pay dinner.
Look at me.
I see you for us without you, be free …
Be free, don’t run …
Easier to be a father than a husband.
I do not know what hate is.
Does not really matter if you believe …
I like …
I can live.
Learn with your farts, vomit and morning laziness.
I just cannot deal with your stupidity.
Be free, don’t run …
I stupid too.
Look at me, look for me and reach.
To be right only feels good for a few minutes …
OK, maybe 24h and then you have to be right.
There’s no right without a fight …
Your fragility puzzles me.
How did I choose fragile for company?
I did not and we know it …
Step in and be free, don’t run.
I stupid too.
Look at me.
Reach into me.
Call my name, ask who am I.
You are afraid my ego is gonna drown me and drag you along …
My ego is balloon like and you may catch a ride.
You want to be invited to be able to say “maybe” …
Foolish.
I thought you had seen me …
Get the fuck out of my sight.
Be free.
See if you catch me.
See if you catch me.
I dare you to catch me.
Catch me, reach …
I’m not speeding and got room for you.
Double barrel gun, double trigger gun, double post war fun …
Look at me and tell me you do not want to kill me, for me?
Be free.
You’ve been craving all your life, to love be, love denied
And for your surprise buzz you have to fight.
Crack almost crack you cries.
In love you embrace the tracks. .
But for those facts you lived the pumped ass.
You fucked all that were on hand.
When got aids and call it friend.
And all your kids have a smile no bitter end.
You rise on a pile of shit.
Deceive, believe there was a shift.
Look at all them flies.
Does the stench not reveal the gift?
Hilário. Come back home.
WHY does it feel so GOOD to feel BAD when your SKIN seems NOT to fit your BONES?
WHY does it feel SO EMPTY without being right, as STOLEN SPACE is reclaimed?
BAD seeking TO BE BAD – NO more …
Future bigger than TIME seems to KICK and PUSH towards INEVITABLE novella.
RAIN eat RAIN – NO umbrella … ALL EVER DRY …
I am a SAINT – LOOK at me bleed – LOOK at me beg.
I am a SAINT – LOOK at me bleed – STRUGGLE.
PAIN is my SAINT status – PAIN, PAIN, PAIN … - WHY, can’t I FAINT?
Look at me – FOOL with a straight face – I AM A SAINT – Look at me – UNCERTAIN.
Look at me – FOOL with a straight face – I AM A SAINT – Look at me – UNCERTAIN.
LOOK at me – PRETENDING – not to have – MIRRORS.
PAIN – is my SAINT status – PAIN, PAIN, PAIN … - WHY, can’t I FAINT?
Love is: be able to trust each other unconditionally.
Trust.
Difficult.
Free.
Hard work.
Being together.
I often wonder who I would be without him because I simply, I can't know anymore.
She energize me when she comes towards me and dances.
She learned me to trust again.
It is an investment but an investment that is naturally.
For me it’s always about the intention behind the words, behind the actions.
It's amazing to have a partner with whom you can have a project together.
It's just like growing old together.
You feed each other, from the heart and from the mind.
Yeah, it's really interesting to have that feeling, to kind of just be there, no bullshit, no anything. Just be honest, be you, do your best to understand people’s value.
People change and you have to deal with changes, and, to adapt.
Which clearly has to do with the age difference, like me having just more life experience.
A couple of times our relationship, was, like almost, ended it.
At a certain point you've built a wall as a couple and nobody can breach it anymore.
Unable to place feelings that I had for another guy.
I think it doesn’t work for us, surprise.
Having twins very early on in our relationship.
I really think this actually saved our relationship because we had no chance of getting stuck in the past and really had to go heading forward.
Create patterns of your own and you get into them all over again, all the time. And you want to discredit it, but it turns out to be something super difficult.
The older I get, the more problematic my relationship to my parents.
Tatiana dated many more people than I did because she's older and they were all men which made it very difficult for me to compete. I like I had to work up to something that I had to prove myself, that I had to compete with what was before me.
So we work together, we live together, we … and everything.
Like finding a space, finding ‘where is my space?’, where is, you know, his space.
And I think the whole business is really to look forward and do the right things.
At the core, I don’t trust people.
I felt like she didn't really feel that relationships were for her.
When you stop talking to each other, when you stop telling what’s going on in yourself, when you think of yourself that you are a stranger.
So I think people have to dare to jump or dare to take a risk with someone and to stick with it. Meeting the perfect person that …
I've never been so excited in my life since I made that decision and I've never ever, even if Mike describes that it was so difficult in the beginning, there's no regrets.
That you don't try to change the other one.
Do you have to give a piece of yourself away.
One of the expressions that Tina has, which grew on me, was that love is the biggest challenge.
You're not a finished person, and neither is the other one.
But above all, to have fun together. Voilà. And dance a lot.
Authority.
Whose authority?
Power.
Whose power?
You speak of power like you know what it is.
You speak about power like you know what it is.
You speak to power like you've witnessed what it is.
Brother, please. Brother, freeze. Brother, breathe.
If I speak, what makes you think I’m right?
If I speak, what makes you think I fight?
If I know, what makes you think I do?
If I know, who told you that the dude does not include you?
There is a dance between faith and belief.
Oh brother, dance. Master, dance. Brother, dance.
Say, Mandela, not me.
House arrest-freed lady?
Hard enough to be a husband without lust in me, me, me.
Gay want me? Farmer want me? Constitution want me? Disfunction want me?
Who willing to die?
Who willing to die?
Who willing to die?
Who willing to die?
Who willing to die?
Who willing to die?
Someone without family?
Someone without family?
Say, Mandela, not me.
House arrest-freed lady?
Hard enough to be a husband without lust in me, me, me.
Say, Mandela, not me.
House arrest-freed lady?
Hard enough to be a husband without lust in me, me, me.
LET GO!
Direction by Vic Pereiró
Production by Nástio Mosquito
A Free Paella & ZZZZZ Creative Solutions Production
Executive production by M HKA and Nástio Mosquito
